whats the fucking point

my life is completely over.
theres no point in anything anymore.
i'm trying to climb up from this negative bullshit
i had the worst things ever happen to me
i lost everything
i realized how much everything was hurting me
and i'm trying to get back up there
to be positive and live my life happy
and i'm doing it and things are looking up
but hey i made one misstake
and now my mom is taking my life away from me
everything that is helping me cope with all the bullshit
is gone.
she wants me to sit in my room again
she wants me to gain weight
and sleep all day long
fuck it its over.

onetime

sitting here in this room
listening to this again
feeling that craving come over me
thinking about you again.this feeling.
this this this feeling

drinking boiling water
the heat sits in my stomach
while the my mouth burns
but tastes like sugar...
yadayada

we sat in a dark hotel room
the tv was on and your friends were talking loudly
you were drunk.
i stared at you
with my sixteen candles eyes
i woke up.
and my eyes were swollen shut.

bomd

someday we will be holding hands walking on the beach
and i wont have to worry about your hat under my pillow


:(

<3

i want to feel the beat
of your heart against mine
i want to feel the heat from your body
on mine
against the wall
arms moving to the beat
we kiss in the way of the projector
your hands on my thighs
there is no one else in the room
just you and me

<3

i feel embarrassed

i fell in love this summer
and got totally rejected
and i thought i would never get over it

well i def wont.

fucked up

the cold made my nose red i felt a little warmthi thought maybe it was your cigeratte i watched it burnall the way to the endsomething reminded me
your eyes were blood shot and you kept getting stucki stared at you until you smirked back at mei realizedhow perfect we'd be until you broke my hearti'd break your's back it would be okayno ones perfect anymore. def not me.

my heart is blue and yellow

i could stand in the middle
and turn around
the world is spinning
the city is big
can you hear the future calling you?
can you feel that this is where you belong?
this is what i want to do
i want to do so much
i want to have so much
i want to be happy
and have options
i want to learn everything
i'm trying to get there to that point
all i need is someone there
to hold my hand on my way up
to motivate me more
to tell me things will be okay
you'll do great
until i find you
i'm gonna go dance
my heart out
its my happiness.
love deedee
let climb the hill
holding hands
all the way up