comparison

fuck.
my list slowly twirls down the drain.

i compare you everyday
i remember stars at coyote point
and lights on sign hill
i remember wearing pants to popscene
thinking "who do i even need to impress"
i brought my phone so i can text you while dancing
you said "you really like my attention huh?"
maybe the night you slept over
maybe you decided then
that i was important anymore.

its a sick obsession
someday ill meet someone better
i've been holding back sober tears for a week now
and maybe i dont care anymore.

whats the fucking point

my life is completely over.
theres no point in anything anymore.
i'm trying to climb up from this negative bullshit
i had the worst things ever happen to me
i lost everything
i realized how much everything was hurting me
and i'm trying to get back up there
to be positive and live my life happy
and i'm doing it and things are looking up
but hey i made one misstake
and now my mom is taking my life away from me
everything that is helping me cope with all the bullshit
is gone.
she wants me to sit in my room again
she wants me to gain weight
and sleep all day long
fuck it its over.

onetime

sitting here in this room
listening to this again
feeling that craving come over me
thinking about you again.this feeling.
this this this feeling

drinking boiling water
the heat sits in my stomach
while the my mouth burns
but tastes like sugar...
yadayada

we sat in a dark hotel room
the tv was on and your friends were talking loudly
you were drunk.
i stared at you
with my sixteen candles eyes
i woke up.
and my eyes were swollen shut.

bomd

someday we will be holding hands walking on the beach
and i wont have to worry about your hat under my pillow


:(

<3

i want to feel the beat
of your heart against mine
i want to feel the heat from your body
on mine
against the wall
arms moving to the beat
we kiss in the way of the projector
your hands on my thighs
there is no one else in the room
just you and me

<3

i feel embarrassed

i fell in love this summer
and got totally rejected
and i thought i would never get over it

well i def wont.

fucked up

the cold made my nose red i felt a little warmthi thought maybe it was your cigeratte i watched it burnall the way to the endsomething reminded me
your eyes were blood shot and you kept getting stucki stared at you until you smirked back at mei realizedhow perfect we'd be until you broke my hearti'd break your's back it would be okayno ones perfect anymore. def not me.